Friday 26 September 2008

Motivation? Can't be asked...

So I haven't touched this blog in over a year. Story of my life...something grabs my attention, I become obsessed with it for a little while and then - well nothing. I just drop it and move on to something else. Just like a little kid that skips from toy to toy until the box is empty and then leaves the mess on the floor to see whether there are any more toys in the garage. But why is this?

Its the same with self care. Take the gym for example. I keep on rejoining and always pay my dues but when it comes to actually going there and making use of my expensive membership I just can't do it. I keep telling myself I ought to go, that I will enjoy it once I'm there and that it will be worth it in the end when I can squeeze back into my skinny jeans without feeling and looking like an overcooked Bratwurst but then something else comes up (or I make it up) and before I know it its too late to go or I find another excuse. I just can't find the motivation to stick with anything!!

So how do you overcome that inner "schweinehund", that lazy ass that just wants to hang around and do nothing at all? I haven't got a clue! I tried writing lists. I wrote everything down that needed doing and proceeded to cross the items off as I completed them...that lasts about two days and then I conviniently ignore the list as well. I tend to be able to do the things that really need doing to keep the house alfoat, to keep everyone else happy, like grocery shopping, cooking and the absolute minimum amount of cleaning but when it comes to things I should be doing for myself I just stall. There's a hundered million things I "would like to do" given the time but then when I have the time available to do them I just can't move my bum. I freeze. I just sit around waisting time away by watching stupid telly or surfing the net. And then I proceed to beating myself up over all the things I should be doing but don't.

I could really do with some help here...